Strap-Ons and Tough Girls

Remember your first pair of roller skates?  I do.  They were a pair of old hand me down strap ons that you had to tighten up at the end of every block.  I bet you remember seeing the little girls in your neighborhood sporting the pig tails and sweetly rolling down the sidewalk, no helmet and maybe a scrape or two on her knee.  That was me.  You've all seen her or can at least picture her in your mind.

Ever been to a roller derby?  I hadn't either until last night.  Since I discovered that there actually is a local team, I've been itching to see what it's all about.  And yes, there is a part of me that thinks it would be really cool to be a derby girl.  After all, who messes with derby girls?  They're tough, right?  With a little bit of a rock star mystique, and who doesn't want to be a rock star?  (not pop star, rock star) Joan Jett would've made an awsome derby girl.  A far cry from the sweetness in pigtails of our youth.

Convincing friends that we should go wasn't difficult.   As hockey moms, I think we all like the action, especially when our kids aren't involved!  Simply said, we didn't need much of an excuse to escape for a few hours.  When I think about it, there must be a tv commercial in it somewhere...  Five hockey moms off to Toledo a.k.a, The Glass City, to see what "Pamazon" really looked like, wondering if "Wendy Boughbreaks" could make you cry for mercy, what sort of damage could "Betty Floored" inflict, would Aunt E. Maim" leave a trail of blood in her wake?  ... introducing The Glass City Rollers!

Upon arrival, a couple of us had some business to take care of.  Souvenirs!  I knew I wasn't leaving without my GCR t-shirt and was pleased to see they had a few other interesting trinkets as well, buttons, drink cozies, pint glasses.  Things to remember to get next time.  For now, the t-shirt was plenty and we needed to pick our seats.  We needed to soak it all in and figure out what the hell this is all about?  Girls on skates wearing fishnets and shorts that are too short, shredded t-shirts and tank tops.  Attire that if they wore it to the mall would attract sideways glances and a "tsk, tsk" from moms who would shuffle their kids away in a hurry.  Not here, not tonight.  The crazier the better!  The focus was on them and they relished it.  Tonight, they were the cool girls.  Popular, mean girls from their high school past would walk down the other side of the hallway to avoid crossing their path today.  "Ha!  Look at me now!  I'm a derby girl and I can kick your ass here and nobody will stop me! In fact, they'd probably cheer me on!"  

Timing was with us and we found good seats, center ice, ...I mean track, and settled in to watch them warm up and see if we could get a better understanding of the rules provided in the program.  We did our best to put words like bout, jam, jammers, pivot, blockers into the context of the Derby.  Jam was no longer what you put opposite the peanut butter in the kid's lunch.  Blockers weren't worn on our goalies' stick hand, you get the idea.   Hand signals?  Hockey moms know a hand signal or two.  What's a few more?  I think we did a decent job of figuring it out.  We tried anyway and had fun doing it.  The guy behind us didn't mind filling us in on the need to know information either.  "You HAVE to go to the after party!  And by the way, no shirts allowed!"  Thanks, Buddy.  Us 30 or 40 somethings could always use a boost!  Now we are ready!  Let the bout begin!!

And so it did!  Round and round they went.  Whistles blowing, arms waving, and a body or two here and there.  As the announcer said, "For those of you sitting in the suicide seats, if a girl lands on you, throw her back!  This isn't baseball, you don't get to take her home with you!"  It's fair to say we laughed most of the night; the second half even more fun as the crowd (after downing a $9 beer or two) really started to get into it.  We had a few moments of confusion with the scoring and the rules but overall, we know a good hit when we see one!  We left knowing that it would definitely be worth the trip for the next bout, perhaps with the men.  We shall return!

For me, I think it took a total of 3 jams, roughly 6 minutes, to decide that I wasn't a tough girl.  At least not the sort of girl that knowingly puts herself in a position to experience extreme pain.  Does that mean I'm not tough enough?  Brave enough?  I don't think so.  Moms are some of the toughest girls I know.  You have to be or your kids will eat you for breakfast and spit you out at the end of the day.    Does tough mean you have to wear the fishnets and short shorts?  Nah, sneakers, sweatshirts and a stern look can send the same message only perhaps not as loud.  Do you need the intimidating name to let people know what's on your agenda?  (With a last name like Cox I should think it wouldn't be too hard to come up with one!)  No, the threat of  Mrs.  So-and-so among the kids is usually enough to get them back in line.  Keeping all of that in mind, I will be a fan of roller derby and cheer the "tough" girls on from the "not-so-suicide-seats".   I will proudly wear my souvenir t-shirt and know in my heart that somewhere in there, there is a tough girl.

Punctuation and Goodbyes.

Part of the aim of all of this, I suppose is to put a period on the end of last year.  I don't do much of the New Year's resolution thing.  It usually ends in disappointment and I don't need any of that.  I'd simply like to de-clutter and simplify, laugh and love much, give thanks and positive energy.  Things that should just be a continuation and not something new.  A tall order?  Maybe, but with the New Year, I'll just remind myself to keep trying. 

Sooo, in case you didn't know...2010 had some rough spots that I'd very much like to put in the past. Put a period on it and start a new chapter.  Learn my lessons and move on.   I've learned plenty of lessons and plan to fine tune them for the future.  I guess that's where the older and wiser statement kicks in.  I'm on the verge of older and wiser is a work in progress.   Part of my process of figuring things out, searching for answers, has become to take walks.  Some are longer than others but even the short jaunts help relax me.   I've done a lot of walking around the neighborhood this fall and always come home with a clearer head than when I left the house. 

My longest walk happend last week, Wednesday before Christmas.  A friend of mine passed after a very hard fought battle with cancer.  She has 3 kids and as a matter of fact, her oldest one turned 8 today.  It wasn't a surprise when she died but no less sad or difficult.  She was a great lady and my only regret is that I didn't get to spend more time with her.  She was in and out? of my life... just like that.  Precious time and now fond memories.  I held out through the day and I think around 8pm I couldn't stand it any more and had to take that walk.  I cried my way around the neighborhood in the freezing temperatures, trying to get it all out.  Thinking about her and her family and me and my family and the events of the past year.  Angry at everything and thinking how I can't wait for this year to be over and her passing now was like a symbolic last "ha ha!" right in the face.   One last dig from the b***h I sometimes call Karma.  The exclamation point on the end of the year.  I walked fast and long and only stopped crying about 2/3 of the way around.  I saw a lot of twinkling Christmas lights in the sleepy neighborhood.  I guess over all, it helped remind me that despite it all, everything would come back around to normal eventually.  Christmas will come, the year will end and hopefully a new and exciting chapter will start.  Learn from the past and move on.  Goodbye 2010.  Put a period on that.